FRIGHTBYTES PSYCHIC ORACLE
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YOUR PSYCHIC READING
Things Unexplainable
We often wonder why things are still so random when science explains so much. Vikings often wondered why some survived in battle that shoud have died. Mysteries bothered them and seemed to not have anything to do with the gods. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. We can meditate on this card that there will always be things unexplainable and to hope for these mysteries to work in our favor. It's like when you go on a date and unknown to you huge pieces of spinach are stuck in your front teeth all night long. You don't know, only the Oracle and rest of world knows. ha-ha-ha.
It will be a bumpy ride for you with ups and downs. All kinds of relationships will puzzle you. At times, you can't seem to get along with anyone, however, some relationships are worth saving and will help you when you need them the most. You will go on a date in the year 2008. You are unscrupulous and would sell relative's limbs to buy a cell phone.
Your Aura Color
Black - Can mean deep pessimism and feelings of being bound or unable to do anything about a negative situation. On the other side, black can represent working to repel psychic attack and defending against dark magic. When a person is reversing the effects of negative spells and thoughtforms, changing the power into positive energy, the black in the aura will be shot with silver sparkles. There is something really funny about the way you're wearing your hair lately.
Your Animal Totem
Weasel: Sly and secret circumvention and/or pursuit.
Cycle of Power: Nocturnal
Your Power Stone
Hardened Ear Wax: Money, psychic talents, protection, exorcism.
Your Darker Nature
Flatulence
Demon Most Likely to Possess You
The Borden Demon: Temporarily possess people in moments when monotony, boredom, fear, spinach stuck in teeth, or other emotions lower the barriers. When in possession the persons body language and personality will alter but they appear otherwise normal. The demon loves carnage and emotional pain and will do anything it can to inflict both, it's love of blood will lead it to seek out axes and knives rather than guns so it can be closer to the event. They will possess and the persons sanity is permanently lowered and more powerful evils can manifest.
Spell to Vanquish Demon
Bind him hard,
bind him fast,
through time this spell shall last.
(Put demon in jar, seal lid. Give to Boyscouts food drive.)
Warning Advice For Events in Your Near Future
1 - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
2 - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
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Psychic Oracle conjured up 2003.
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