FRIGHTBYTES ORACLE
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YOUR PSYCHIC READING
The Cycle of One Year
As many farmers know, crops are not impulsive or an overnight success. Usually a period of time must pass before one can count the blessings and success of the harvest. The meditation here is very simple. Your car breaks down, your loved ones shun you, and you begin to lose your hair. Persistence and foresight must be used to see what is to come from a venture. You lie a great deal. Most good things do not come from a short period of time like a season. Oh what the heck, it's all downhill from here for you.
A talking banana (yes, a banana that talks) has told the oracle about your little problem of repeating things. Yes, you say things over and over again. Well, anyway, that’s what the banana that talks told me. This month be sure not to be redundant and repeat yourself. Because of your quest for truth, you will become a redundant agnostic, a redundant atheist, or intensely devoted to some other redundant religious practice. You have genuine love for animals and a strong tendency to defend the human underdog. You will develop marked indifference to family ties and marriage will only work when freedom is total. You come down with an undiscovered form of bladder and urinary tract disease which leaves you in diapers the rest of your life. Good news - they name this new illness after you.
Your Aura Color
Green: A Nature color associated with fertility of the mind, body, and spirit. Crafts people who work with their hands show this color strongly, as do gardeners, nature lovers, those stricken with the plague or severely seasick. Pale green can mean a new beginning in life. A green so dark as to be almost black will often indicate a problem in relationships or marriage. My goodness - stay away from stripes and anything else that goes in a straight line.
Your Animal Totem
Vulture: Purification-Death and Rebirth-New Vision. You are obsessed with Spam (the canned kind).
Cycle of Power: Year-round but especially during Summer and Winter.
Your Power Stone
Great-Great-Great-Grandmother's Glass Eye: Sexual energy (you wish), healing, love, peace.
Your Darker Nature
Boring as mold.
Demon Most Likely to Possess You
Hell Hound: Hell Hounds are the size of Great Danes, completely black with red eyes and black teeth. They belch fire and are immune to heat. They hunt in packs of up to a dozen and can eat ashes to survive but prefer burnt meat and talking bananas.
Spell to Vanquish Demon
Mirror of life, mirror so sure
In your reflection all is pure
Behind your glass let nothing hide
Reveal the truth that lurks inside
(Take Hell Hound to dog-groomer and vet - Good Dog! Have a banana.)
Warning Advice For Events in Your Near Future
1 - If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
2 - Don't fool with recombining DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
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Psychic Oracle conjured up 2003
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