CRYPT OF FOOLS
Before we retreat to the comfort and safety of our Crypt every dawn, the Spooky Webmistress and Space Dog read and reflect on the many guestbook entries and Emails we receive about The Haunting and Frightbytes. Most of you Fiends and Ghouls enjoy your visit and the messages reflect that and are appreciated. Here you will find our most blood chilling archive of Poison Pen or strange messages. The messages are the way we have received them. No attempt has been made to correct the misspellings. However, any language that I feel may offend my visitors has been changed. Those words have been changed to "DARN" or stronger language to "GOSH DARN" The message is listed first, followed by comments from the Spooky Webmistress and her faithful companion, Space Dog! Be afraid......be very afraid! Step into our Crypt - The Crypt of Fools! *Your Boyfriend, Anthony Halloweiner* R u really a spooky webmistress? I think the spiders on your website are really scary. You should remove all of them for the glory of Panau. Alert. Alert. We have hostile activity in the sector. All units respond immediately. Your zombies are scary, too! jk nithngs scaty. everythinbg ok. Yr u trying to be a scary circle? I prefer circular lines =^.^= (that's a cat btw). Why is a dead head on the shovel???????????? He looks like a turtle... Sorry about the fontavian! Tomatoes live in rockets just s you know. You should write a spooki story about a teddy bear that kills barby dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By tha way - you'ree storiees are creepy & you need to make more so i can poop in my underwear. *Spooky Webmistress* Thank you for sending me your picture. You would be a perfect squeaky toy for Space Dog! P.S. Congratulations on wearing underwear. 
*Space Dog* I didn't know tomatoes live in rockets! Fascinating. Also fascinating is the fact you look like a fun squeaky toy for me and since your last name is Halloweiner that must mean you're hot dog scented. Can't wait to rip off your little head, I mean can't wait to MEET you. Woof! *Have You Seen My Arse* I really liked your site, my underpants burst into flames can you tell me how this happened...every halloween something happens....oh and one time my arse fell off. have you seen it????ok bye....type o negative rock ......... *Spooky Webmistress* Uh....OK. Have you tried taking BEAN-O? *Space Dog* We hear this complaint alot so please be aware that by visiting The Haunting you may spontaneously combust. As for your lost arse, no arse's have been turned into our Lost and Found Department. Rock On Scarey Arseless Dude! *Lyrical Assasin* A YO WORD UP THIS IS BIG LYRICAL ASSASIN,I AM ABOUT TO ENTER SOME SCARY THING AND I JUST WANTED TO LEAVE THIS..A YO SLICE YOUR STOMACH TO RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES/BATTLE ME YOU'LL BE MY NEXT LYRICAL SPECIMEN/I SPIT BETTER THAN/ANY OF YA'LL WEAK MC'S/CAUSE LIKE A VAMPIRES REFLECTION YOU CANT SEE ME/I RHYME FREELY OFF THE TOP/YA'LL CANT STOP ME I COME WITH THE REAL HIP-HOP/MAKIN YOUR MIND FLIP FLOP,YOUR HEART STOPS,AND I'LL MAKE YOUR BODY DROP!! WORD UP I'M OUT LYRICAL ASSASIN..ONE LOVE YA'LL,PEACE! *Spooky Webmistress* I'm more into New Age music but Spacedog loves to Rap! Rap on Spacedog! *Space Dog* GREW UP ON THE MEAN STREETS ON MY OWN, DOING THINGS THE MAN DON'T CONDONE. TAKING DOWN GARBAGE CANS LOOKING FOR SPAM, THE MAN CAME DOWN HARD SAID PUPPY YOU IS BAD, BEFORE I KNOWED IT I WUZ PUT AWAY IN S-O-L-I-T-A-R-Y IN THE C-O-U-N-T-Y! AND THEN THE FUNKY WEBMISTRESS ADOPTED ME. I'M A HAPPY PUPPY. THEY ALL PUT ME DOWN 'CAUSE I AIN'T GOT NO FANCY PAPERS AND I TELL THEM "HEY YA'LL LET ME SHOW YA MY TAPERS". (WORMS THAT IS) I'M A BAD PUPPY. EVERYWHERE I GO AND EVERYONE I MEET TELLS ME TO GET DOWN - GET DOWN! BAD DOG. YOU'RE A BAD BAD DOG! YEAH YA'LL I'M BAD. I'M PUNKY, SKUNKY, I LIKE TO TURN STUFF INTO JUNKY! SO WHAT IF I'M A MUTT - WHO ELSE WOULD SNIFF YOUR BUTT!! LOOKY HERE - I CAN FREE RHYME TOO! Thank You!! Thank You Verrrrry Much! *Spooky Webmistress* Space Dog has left the building! *Buffy and Heather* This site is like WHOA gay! I think you need to improve on some CERTAIN area's like everywhere...i mean come on its HALLOWEEN! I mean someone not in their right mind is going to go to a cemetery or a haunted house rather. I mean GET REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thankz *Spooky Webmistress* You may be right! Next year the story will be about two girls called Buffy and Heather. They are like ya know evil little girls who get jobs after school at the local ice cream shop. Their diabolic plan is to like eat all the ice cream in the world ya know, so like they will not let anyone in the shop. They eat all the ice cream themselves and like turn into gluttonous masses just like in the movie THE BLOB ya know! To make a long story short- the Blobs (formerly known as Buffy and Heather) like go to the Mall to try on spandex outfits ya know. The army is called in to destroy the blobs, so like a nuclear bomb is dropped on them ya know. How's that for a Halloween story! *Space Dog* That story scared me! Everytime I see one of those big spandex butts bouncing around I wonder if I took a bite into one if it would squeak? *Mr. Crotch* (also known as Elizabeth E.) To whom ever it may concern, I disliked your site, It sucked! The entire "adventure" was the single most idiotic thing I have ever seen! Your graphics totally blowed! That whole Space Dog bit just to get your dog in the website sucked ass it was the gayest thing ever! Everytime I picked a link I died that's gay you should have it go longer. I won't be refering anyone to your site nor will I returm!!!! Sincerley, Mr. Crotch *Space Dog* Mr. Crotch is a MASCOT! *Spooky Webmistress* You mean a MASOCHIST! A normal person would have left immediately if things were that bad. However, The Crotch endured excruciating pain to complete an entire segment. And then The Crotch complained it was too short!! Also Crotch is dealing with gender issues. The Email is signed by Mr. Crotch, but it's actually from Elizabeth E. No wonder The Crotch is frustrated! And what's with all this "Gay" talk? Is "BLOWED" a word? I believe The Crotch should have stated "Your graphics totally BLOW" or maybe BLEW. The use of "BLOWED" would have been best used to say "PA, I DUN BLOWED UP THE OUTHOUSE A'GIN." *Space Dog* I bet Elizabeth E. is someone who should NOT wear spandex! *Miss PMS* you need some more scary pages you stupid dumb freaks!!!you dont need to have your domb pages on the net you take up some good space that britney spears could use! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Spooky Webmistress* This is really "domb"! *Space Dog* What a "dommy"! What's a britney spears? Is is like a dill pickle? *Mr. Jack N. Uff* great work loved your story it was good enough to "DARN" off to thanks mam *Spooky Webmistress* Hmmmmmm. Pretty sure this guy was looking for a site called "The DARNING". *Space Dog* Had an uncle like that, on my mothers side. He was one of those small, yappy, little dogs. He had the same problem as Jack and would attach himself to people's legs, and well.....YOU KNOW!!! *Spooky Webmistress* Maybe Jack does have the same problem! Whatever happened to your uncle? Was he cured? *Space Dog* Yes. They had him fixed and that took care of his problem. I think Jack should get fixed. Ooooo....I wanna get stuck in the Crypt of Fools! Oh please, oh please, oh pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaazzzzze!??! Oh yea, can I get Space Dog's autograph? *beaming* she's my hero! *Spooky Webmistress* Dear Mr. Futz, You are a perfect candidate for Crypt of Fools! Congratulations, you made it! *Space Dog* I like Mr. Futz. He's my fan. Let's go find his yard and I'll leave him my "autograph". This GB entry had Crypt of Fools potential, but something was missing. Space Dog suggested we put the entry through the Dialectizer. Now it's 100% Foolish. *From Jethro Dull* (Message translated in Redneck) Isn't th' crypp of fools fum th' disney movie Th' huntchback of Notre Dame? Or is ah jest reckon of th' feastival of fools in thet movie. HOw did yo' train yer houn'dog t'type ennyway? Larn him t'speak it fo' thet matter. YOur site was reeeeaaaaaalllllllllyyyy right fine to. It jest seems like sumpin was missin' though... Wal eff'n yo' evah create t'other one then mebbe it fine be th' missin' part. Did thet make sense? it's like ten thirty at night right now an' i is wired, cuss it all t' tarnation. OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BBBBBBBOOOOOOOYYYYYYY! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOG! Fry mah hide! So'ry jest needed t'shout! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide! Kin yo' he'p me? Mebbe reccamend some so't of medicashun? Yo' seem t'take some. ah mean ennyone thet wawks wif them grost images all day muss need it t'keep their stomachs fum pukin'. So'ry eff'n ah offended yo'! Fry mah hide! Say howdy-doo to Stuper Houn'dog o' Space houn'dog o' whoevah fo' me! LUV YOU! Fry mah hide! peace out. *Spacedog* Ohhhhh Boy Howdee! That thar ol' Jethro varmint be'n inta th' moonshine I reckon! Fry mah hide! My computer teacher made us go 2 dis page and as soon as im dun wit dis im gonna beat jeopardy from 1993 on dis old macintosh(my dell @ my house is sooooooo much better) and as long as im here go 2 my web page which is http://plasticsnakes.arecool.net *Spooky Webmistress* I guess the English teacher was out sick that day. MAC RULES DUDE! *Space Dog* I get the feeling that I learned more in Obedience School! *Another Future Leader of the World?????* the site is cool halloween rocks all saints day we shud have off skool dammit even though i dunt celebrate well i'm home ne way so hahahahahaha HAPPY HALLOWEEN ....... *Spooky Webmistress* You don't fool me! Your George W. Bush!!!! *Space Dog* STAY, SIT, ROLLOVER! Don't blame me - I didn't vote for him. *Yet Another FUTURE LEADER OF THE WORLD?* This are a great story game that ever eksistet! *Spooky Webmistress* Many people have been stricken with the DAN QUAYLE SYNDROME. *Space Dog* Yes -- as Dan would say "A mind is a terrible thing to lose". *Miss Lizzie Borden* hey i hope this is tight but if its not . Then I'll have to gooh find u and kill u my self. HEEHEE *Spooky Webmistress* Well I'm so scared I'm "goohing" to hide. Save me Space Dog HEEHEE. *Space Dog* Uh.....can't find my Space Dog Cape....can't save you without my cape! You better "gooh" hide! HEEHEE Your story was good..until the stupid-"GOSH DARN" SPACE DOG!! Way to go! *Spooky Webmistress* Whoa....calm down. Looks like somebody hasn't been taking their MEDICATION! *Space Dog* I agree with you Spooky Webmistress! Miss Rabid is definitely off her medication. She should get back on her worming pills right away. I remember when I had worms. They would make me cranky too. And I bet Miss Rabid has carpet burns on her backside from doing the old "Tractor Pull" across the carpet trying to get rid of those pesky critters! I guess I feel sorry for her. I'm, in real life, a mortician in California. I loved the game and would like to invite you to my mortuary, especially on Halloween night, but they revoked my license for strange and unusual practices. *Spooky Webmistress* I probably dated him at one time. *Space Dog* No, I think he embalmed you once! *Spooky Webmistress* Could be. Say I'm due again soon. Getting embalmed every few years helps maintain that old, deathly palor! That was really cool- the same thing happened to our neighbor. He was the victim of that psycho embalmer in California who had his license revoked for strange and unusual practices. Oh noooooooooo! *Spooky Webmistress* Thanks for that update. That Psycho Embalmer is one wild and crazy guy. HARK -- The dawn quickly approaches. Back to the Crypt! _____________________________ CRYPT OF FOOLS, Crypt #2 (Click here for more...)  Back I say, go back to FRIGHTBYTES.COM you DEVIL! Email the Spooky Webmistress and Space Dog at artgekko@earthlink.net 
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